God is With Us

    I will be 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow! I never would have thought that this time last year we would be preparing to have another baby. I was pregnant last year, and we had what's called a fetal demise at 15 weeks. At a routine doctor's appointment, there was no heartbeat found in our baby. We were completely devastated. I mourned the loss of that baby for a long time, and there are still days when I think about him or her resting with Jesus.
    A little while after our loss though, we started trying to get pregnant again. Months went by with no luck. I was convinced I just wasn't able to get pregnant and we would never have another child. God, however, knew what he was doing. He was already creating this wonderful baby girl to be ours. In our church bathroom nearly 8 months after losing our baby, I held my breath as I waited with a best friend for the results of a pregnancy test. It popped up positive and I truly couldn't believe it.
    This past year and a half has been full of surprises, unknowns, and heartbreaks. But it has also been a time where I have come to know my Lord even more. I have come to know Him as God Most High, who is sovereign over everything that happens in my life. I have also known Him as the Creator, who has created each and every person on this earth for a purpose-to glorify His name. These are just a couple of the names of God that have stood out to me through this season, and I know He will reveal Himself to me in even more ways in the days to come.
    We had an appointment this week with Breckin's cardiologist to get a last look at her heart, and to make a final determination on whether I could try for a vaginal delivery or not. The time with him was once again reassuring. He was very pleased with the condition of her heart and is very optimistic about her surgery. He told us most babies that he sees delivered with HLHS are born around 36 weeks and weigh about 5lbs. Here we are already at 38 weeks, and Breckin weighs over 6lbs! Her heart rate was a little lower than normal, but from everything he looked at he didn't see any concern with it. He also said he sees no problem with me having a vaginal delivery. So, I am scheduled to be induced December 3rd. In a week and a half, we will get to meet our baby girl!
    There are still so many unknowns in this situation, but through my past I can see that God has been with me and will continue to be with me. The unknowns to me are not unknown to Him. This reminds me of a song I heard recently that says:
  I don't need to know what's next
  You'll be with me every step
  Through it all, I can see
  You carry me


Love,
Brooke