Monday, July 20, 2015

Our Normal Life

     When Breckin was born and in the hospital, I never would have imagined I would one day be writing a blog post with the word "normal" in the title. But, here I am 7 1/2 months down the road, talking about our normal life. Everyday, I am so thankful for the normalcy in our days. When I load up the girls to go grocery shopping, take them swinging at the park, or play with them in the pool, I am so grateful to get to do these things with them. When the four of us go out for a family dinner, or go for a walk around the neighborhood, I feel so blessed.
     Breckin had a cardiology appointment the other day, and her doctor commented on the fact that I had a tan. He said that was a huge thing because it meant I was actually able to get outside and live life. He had a resident with him and he explained to her that the first six months of a heart baby's life is very difficult, causing much stress and a lot of work on the parents. I told her this was definitely a true statement, but I am finally feeling normal again. I've been able to get out to the pool, go running three or four times a week, and spend a little time with some girlfriends. Can you believe I have even made it through a couple books this summer?!
     From the outside looking in, things with Breckin would probably not all be considered normal. Instead of making a bottle for her to take every few hours, we make a big batch of formula every morning to give in her tube feeds throughout the day. When we are able to give her a bottle, which is twice a day, we have to thicken her formula and even when she does sit and suck for 20 minutes, she takes only a little over an ounce. We are thankfully able to give her baby food now, but it's only once a day, and she takes about a teaspoon of food total. She has a standing appointment every week with a speech therapist and a developmental therapist who come to our house for an hour to work with her. Playtime consists of touching and feeling her toys, and listening to the sounds and the music. There is no "look at that, Breckin," or "ooh see the pretty colors."
     However, she gets eating time, playtime, and nap time just like any other baby. Every time she does a "normal" baby thing, we get so excited. In the beginning of Breckin's life, we had no idea what to expect. We had no idea what kind of quality of life she would have. However, I am here to say that she has an amazing quality of life! She is a happy, playful, interactive little baby. Every smile, laugh, and coo brings my husband and I the greatest joy. She rolls over, lifts her head, is almost sitting up unassisted, uses both hands to play with toys, and puts weight on her legs. All these simple little developmental milestones are huge leaps for Breckin!
     I do admit that when I see a baby look at their mom's face and smile, or suck down an 8 ounce bottle no problem, I get a little sad. These are probably two things my daughter will never do. However, she is exactly the way God meant for her to be, and I praise Him for this. I am constantly reminded of this in Psalm 139. This psalm was in my devotional this morning and it always makes me think of my sweet Breckin when I read it. The part that stood out to me this morning was verses 15-16: "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body." How could anyone read these words and not know that they are exactly who God wants them to be?
     I am thankful right now that God has given us a normal family life. I know there will be more days down the road where the stress and hard times will come. However, this is where we are now, and I am enjoying every minute of it. I sing the song, "God is So Good" to my daughters frequently, and it is a simple truth I want to instill in their lives. Even when things don't appear to be good, God is good!

Love,
Brooke

 This girl loves the pool
 Can't get enough of her sweet smile
These sisters have had some fun this summer