He is Still Good

     Ever since Breckin was born, we have wanted a third child. I know it sounds kinda crazy, as if we didn't have enough to deal with just with her. But, even when we were in the NICU with her, in the midst of so many overwhelming circumstances, I still pictured us having another baby. I imagined that we would have three little girls, with Breckin being our middle child. So, when she was a little over a year old, we started trying for another baby. At first, it was a little scary imagining another baby when Breckin was still a baby herself. But then, it became exciting, waiting every month until I could take a pregnancy test. However, the excitement started to just get frustrating because a year had gone by, and we still were not pregnant.

     We decided at that time to see a fertility specialist. She recommended we both undergo testing and labwork, which we did, and everything came back normal. She also recommended that I see Dr. BK, our high-risk OB that followed me throughout my pregnancy with Breckin. My visit with him was basically a set of statistics-how likely our chance of having another child born with a heart defect (2.5-5%), how likely it was to have a child born with Breckin's same brain malformation (about the same percentage), and how likely it was that we were to have a healthy, typically developing baby (about the same as anyone else). We knew the risks were a little higher for us to have another child with special needs or health problems, but this was the desire of our hearts, and we put all our trust in God. 

     Finally, we had our first IUI. This is a rather expensive procedure (several hundred dollars), but I had been working more, and we had the money saved up. It's also a simple, quick office procedure with no downtime, so we went for it. Throughout this whole process, I had been praying for God's guidance and wisdom; for Him to lead us down the right path, and for Him to go before us. We both felt right about this decision, so we continued down the path. Unfortunately, two weeks later, I got a negative pregnancy test, and plans were made to do another IUI the next month.

     This next IUI, however, did not feel right. The finances weren't there, the timing wasn't right, and I just felt uneasy about going through with it. So, I called and cancelled it. I was disappointed, but I immediately felt a peace about the decision. Later that same day, I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw a post that just said,"If not, He is still good." I realize that a quote from someone, though inspired by the Bible, is not as good as God's truth. But it was still a good reminder that even if things don't go your way, God is still good. 

     So, the next month, it was a few days past my normal cycle time, but I didn't think anything of it. We didn't do the IUI, so we couldn't be pregnant-I was just late. After another day, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! God had answered our prayers, and He chose to do it all on His own. He didn't need any medical procedure to perform this miracle! Josh and I were over the moon, but we wanted to keep it a secret from our families until we went for our first ultrasound. So at seven weeks pregnant, I had my first ultrasound.  Josh was running late, so it was just me in there with the ultrasound tech. As I watched the screen, I didn't see the familiar heartbeat sign. The tech was silent for several minutes, and I knew from experience that this was bad news. She told me that she only saw a gestational sac, measuring 5 weeks and 5 days, but no baby. She told me that sometimes this happens if your dates are off, and you're not as far along as you think. But I knew my dates were not off. This baby didn't make it.

     I had to relay the news to Josh when he arrived, and we both just sat in silence. I was crushed, and angry that we were losing another baby. Two days later, I was helping to lead children's worship at church, and we led them in the song, "Good, Good Father." Again, another reminder that God is still good! However, it was very difficult for me to accept that right then. That first week was terrible, and I struggled with accepting God's goodness, and accepting that this was His perfect plan for me. But eventually, after several days of grieving, I gave everything back over to Him. We had an altar call at church that Sunday night, and I laid my burdens at His feet. I immediately felt a peace after doing that, and just felt relief wash over me. 

     Several weeks later, I went back to that Instagram post, and looked up the passage of scripture that inspired that particular quote. It took me to the book of Daniel chapter 3-the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were three Jewish men who were not worshipping the golden gods that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up; they worshipped the one true God. King Nebuchadnezzar made the proclamation that anyone who did not worship these gods would be thrown into the furnace to die. The king confronted the men and they told him that the God they serve would save them from the fiery furnace. But, that even if he didn't, they would still not worship the golden idols. Anyone who knows this story knows that they did get thrown into the furnace, and that God did indeed save them. However, they were still willing to worship the Lord and honor Him even if He didn't answer their prayers in the way they wanted Him to.
     I still believe that God is good. Some days it is harder than others to believe this, but I know it to be true. Josh and I still have a desire for another child, and that continues to be our prayer. I may never know or understand why God has allowed us to experience the loss of a second baby, but I do know that He is good, His plans for us are perfect, and He can still be trusted.

Love,
B

   

    

Letting God Lead

     I want to share a little story on here of a recent doctor's visit. So, we have been followed by a certain ENT doc since Breckin was born. She has put tubes in her ears twice, and is scheduled to do Breckin's cleft palate repair this summer. However, all through these visits, something just kept tugging at me making me unsure of her. We haven't really had any issues with her, she has great bedside manner, and she has been very cautious this whole time with Breckin, considering her heart defect. Just recently though, I have come across a few moms whose children had their cleft palates repaired by Dr. Wallace, a plastic surgeon. They highly recommended him. One of the moms even told me about this cleft clinic that involves a panel of doctors that sees your child.
     All through our time with this ENT doctor, we were never told about a cleft clinic, and I came to find out that she is even one of the doctors on the cleft team! So, with Breckin's surgery continuing to be pushed back for one reason or another, I thought this would give me a great chance to seek a second opinion. So after much prayer, I decide to call and make an appointment with Dr. Wallace. Shortly after that appointment was made, Breckin had her second set of tubes put in by this same ENT. Everything went great, she answered all our questions, and we even talked a little bit about the upcoming cleft repair. So I left that surgery thinking, Hmm, maybe we don't need a second opinion. Maybe we'll just stick with her. I continued to pray for wisdom, because I felt like I was just not getting a clear answer on what to do.
     Fast forward to a week before the appointment. I am seriously considering cancelling the appointment with Dr. Wallace when I see a friend at the gym that just so happens to be a nurse at LeBonheur. The topic of Breckin gets brought up and I just casually mention the ENT doctor that is scheduled to do Breckin's cleft palate surgery. My friend looks at me and says, "You need to see Dr. Wallace." She tells me that she has just seen higher complications from our ENT doctor's patients. She told me if it was her child, she would get Dr. Wallace to do the surgery. Finally, I felt like I had a clear answer! I felt a total peace about keeping the appointment now because I felt like this was the wisdom I had been seeking.
     So Breckin and I show up to the appointment, and who walks into the waiting room? Our ENT doctor! Talk about awkward! I think we both try to play it cool, she says hi, I say hi. Then she tells me she will be presenting Breckin's case to Dr. Wallace. What?! We are finally called back, and a whole team of doctors and nurses all walk into this exam room at once. Our ENT doctor takes the lead, and gives Dr. Wallace some facts about Breckin, gives him her plan, and then she asks me if I have any questions or concerns. Uh yes I do, I have questions and concerns about you! I was dumbfounded. I felt completely backed into a corner. There was no way I could state my concerns in this setting with all these doctors in the room. Dr. Wallace pretty much said ok sounds good, we'll follow up in a year once your palate is repaired. The visit was less than five minutes and all doctors walked out the door and we were free to go.
     I left there that day feeling angry, upset, confused, and completely defeated. I just prayed to God asking again for wisdom. I felt like He lead us there, and then we just completely hit a dead end. After some prayer, I talked to my husband and a couple friends to seek some Godly advice. They all suggested I call back and talk to his nurse to try to make her understand the situation better. So, that's what I did. Thankfully she called me back the same day, and when I explained the reason for us wanting to see Dr. Wallace, she completely understood. She told me that when I initially called to make the appointment, there was a miscommunication. She thought I wanted to be seen by the cleft team, not to see Dr. Wallace for a surgery consult. So, we made another appointment with Dr. Wallace only, and we will see him at the end of this month.
     Every step of Breckin's journey has to be completely covered in prayer! There are so many doctor's visits, surgeries, procedures, therapies, medications, etc. that are part of her life. And I make it a priority to take everything to God. I want Him to lead us every step of the way. So, with this particular situation, I struggled because I just wasn't getting clear answers. I was consistently praying for wisdom and guidance, but it just has not been an easy situation. I completely believe that God led me to that friend in the gym that day to say the exact words that I needed to hear. I also know that just because God leads you down a certain path, it doesn't mean it's going to be a smooth ride.
     So now with a new appointment with the specific surgeon we want to see, I feel like I will be able to voice my concerns, and I will be able to get my questions answered. I'm sure I will be put in awkward and uncomfortable situations in the future with our ENT doctor, but I want my daughter to have the best care possible. This is a major surgery, and just being a nice person does not ensure that a surgery will go well. So if you think about us, please pray for this upcoming appointment and for continued guidance throughout this process. Your prayers, as always, are greatly appreciated!

Love, B

Life Lately

     I hate waiting so long before I write a blog post. I feel like we have gone through so much and I have gone through so many emotions since I last wrote. I also feel like I have learned a lot too. Maybe my new year's resolution should be to set aside time every week or at least every month specifically to write. We'll see how that goes ;)
     Since I last wrote, Breckin was supposed to have had her cleft palate repair. However, it was cancelled due to a cough and nasal congestion that she had been battling for weeks before the surgery. We did everything we could do to get rid of it, including putting her on two weeks of an antibiotic. The day the surgery was postponed (a day before her scheduled surgery), I was an emotional wreck. We had been planning and preparing for this surgery, and we had met our huge deductible for the year! So, for it to be postponed until the next year was a huge disappointment!
     The only thing that got me through the next few days was reminding myself of God's sovereignty. There was no way I was going to understand why any of this was happening-why she was born this way, why she had to have surgery, why she had a cold, why her surgery was postponed. I just kept reflecting on verses in the Bible that speak of God's ways and plans being higher than mine, of His purpose being greater than mine, and of his timing being more perfect than mine. One of the verses I meditated on during that time is Isaiah 55:8-"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." I was not particularly pleased with my situation, but I find my comfort in knowing that God knows what's best.
     Now in hindsight, it probably was a good thing Breckin didn't have her surgery as planned. Her "cold" made a turn for the worse the weekend before Christmas. That Friday morning, after a restless night of what seemed like non-stop coughing, we took her to her pediatrician. Her breathing was labored, she had fever, and her oxygen level had dropped into the 60s. Our pediatrician called an ambulance, and I rode with Breckin to Lebonheur hospital downtown. At the hospital, they ran several tests, did some bloodwork, and got a chest x-ray. Thankfully, RSV and flu were negative, bloodwork looked good, and chest x-ray only showed an upper respiratory infection. However, she was still pretty sick and was requiring 10 liters of oxygen just to maintain her saturations in the high 70s. By the grace of God, she quickly improved, and we got to go home only three days later. She was still sick, but we didn't have to go home on oxygen, and we got to enjoy our Christmas at home as a family!
     Breckin is much better now, and only coughs every so often. As far as surgery goes, her cleft palate repair has now been pushed to June of this year! Our ENT wants all the flu and cold germs to be gone before attempting this surgery. However, we will have a minor surgery on Valentine's Day. She is requiring tubes in her ears for the second time. So, we are still trying to keep Breckin pretty isolated and trying not to put her in the nursery or settings where she will be around a lot of other children. A simple cold that a typical child gets can land Breckin in the hospital!
     We also saw the audiologist when we saw ENT, and she gave me a tiny lecture on Breckin wearing her hearing aids. I honestly had just stopped putting them on her. I felt like she could hear fine, and it was just a hassle to put them in, take them out for naps, baths, bedtime, etc. Then keep them clean and replace the batteries every few days. However, the audiologist let me hear an example of how Breckin hears compared to how we hear. She played a recording of a conversation at a normal talking level. Then she played what Breckin hears, and it was like the volume on the conversation was turned way down. So yes she can hear, but it's at a much lower volume than normal. Since Breckin is really starting to imitate words and talk more, it's important for her to be able to hear us say these words clearly. So of course I had some mommy guilt after this, and immediately went home to get her hearing aids ready to wear.
     Breckin's biggest milestone lately is standing on her own! A couple weeks ago at church, Josh was out in the lobby with her (since we're trying to keep her away from the nursery), and she just started standing. He tried to help hold her hands, but she pushed him away. When I got out of the service, he showed me what she could do, and I burst into tears! I was so overwhelmed with joy and amazement! God truly is so good, and can do way more than I could ever imagine!
     Breckin is also saying a few words, mostly people's names. She has been saying "mama" and "daddy", but now she says "Ha-ha" for Harper and "ah-ah" for Avery, her little cousin. She says several other words that don't quite sound like the word it's supposed to be, but I know what she's saying. Most of her words just don't have the correct beginning sound, but this could be for many reasons. It could be her lack of sight, her cleft, or the fact that she can't hear the words clearly. So once she starts wearing her hearing aids regularly, and after her cleft repair, I can imagine she will be talking much more!
     It's amazing to think that right after Breckin was born, I had no idea if she would be able to talk or walk. Now, I feel like those things are not only possible, but are right around the corner! As challenging as Breckin can be at times, it is so worth all the struggles to see her consistently meet these milestones. The joy she brings to our lives far outweighs the pain!

Love,
B
   

 She had so much fun opening gifts on Christmas

 Playing with her sweet cousin

 She loves rocking babies

She is so loved by her big sister!

I tried like ten times to upload a video on here of her standing, but never could get it to work! So, if you follow me on facebook, you can find it on there :)

I've Got A Toddler!

     So it has been quite a while since I have posted. I have been meaning to write about so much lately, but the time just gets away from me. This past summer has flown by, and now here it is fall! Breckin has been making so much progress, and I have just been in such awe of her recently. (Well, I'm always in awe of her, but lately it has been like a daily thing!) Harper also continues to amaze me with her love and care towards her little sister. I would love to take credit for teaching her to be this way, but I think that's just how God made her. :)

     The biggest thing with Breckin lately I think would be her mobility. She has a tiny little walker and she uses it to walk around. I was amazed the first time she used it independently because she was actually standing and walking by herself! She also has learned to crawl to get where she wants to go. This was a skill that her therapists and I thought she just might skip, but of course she proved us wrong! She pulls up to standing onto anything that is stable enough to hold her-the couch, Harper's little table, our tv console, our bed, etc. She is also cruising, taking steps side-to-side as she holds onto whatever it is she has pulled up to. We are actually going to have to start baby proofing the house now, and being completely aware of where she is at all times. Even with Harper, we didn't do much baby proofing. She just didn't get into things. This is a whole new thing for us, but I am so glad for it!

     Just like the walking and crawling is a normal baby milestone that she has reached, Breckin is also starting to act like a toddler! She had a swallow study a few weeks ago, and she behaved terribly! She pushed the cup away, pursed her lips together tightly so nothing could get in, and she swatted her hands at whoever was trying to get near her. I was so embarrassed! However, the therapists doing the study said that she was just acting like a normal toddler her age! Can you say that again please? My toddler was just acting like all the other toddlers out there! Despite her challenging behavior, I was so pleased to hear she was being normal! And in spite of her acting out, they were still able to get clear pictures and a conclusive result. She passed her test and we no longer have to thicken her milk! I think I was in a little bit of shock when they told me this. I was still on cloud nine from hearing that Breckin was acting like a typical child her age, so when I learned that we would no longer need to make follow-up swallow studies, and could give her regular milk, I was floored!

     A couple months ago, I went through a period of loneliness. Not that I didn't have people around me, but that when it came to being Breckin's mom, I felt lonely. I would see other moms with their children, and I just couldn't relate. Their struggles with their children were things I wish were my struggles with Breckin. Things like screaming when they can't have what they want, constantly getting into things they're not supposed to, throwing toys, etc. I found myself wishing Breckin would do these things, so I could relate to the other moms out there. And now since then, I have had several people tell me that Breckin's behaviors are typical for her age. I never thought I would be so thrilled to be entering into the terrible twos! 

     It is just so cool to see how God works in her little life. During her early days, I would never have imagined she would be where she is today. I see God's fingerprints all over her. She truly was created in his image, and she is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). God also continues to work in my life through her and Harper. Seeing the faith and strength my children have, has helped strengthen my faith in Christ. Harper and I say prayers together every evening, and most nights, she just prays what's on her heart. Twice last week, she prayed that Breckin would be able to see her one day. I don't even pray this prayer, but Harper truly believes this is something God is capable of doing, and He is! She has inspired me to start praying this for Breckin. Harper is always saying how much she loves Breckin. She said the other day that she loves her so much she wants another blind baby just like her! Talk about tears! 

     Seeing how Breckin continues to overcome obstacles and reach milestones despite her weaknesses, just speaks volumes to God's power and goodness. I feel like every blog post somehow comes back to this common theme: God is good and sovereign. Sometimes we don't get to see how God is working things out for our good on this side of heaven. However, sometimes we do, and I get to see it everyday in my life. I know that there is much more that God has planned for Breckin's life, and there may be things being done for His glory that I won't get to see until I meet Him face-to-face. I just know that God has given me the pleasure of seeing first hand how His ways and plans are not mine.
     There is so much more that I can write about, but I will end today's post. My goal is to write more frequently when God puts things on my heart, and not put it off. Thank you to everyone who reads this, and prays for our family. It means more to me than you know!

Love,
B

 Little musician

 Sweet sisters

 B has the best big sis!

Standing up and making messes!

     

The Lord Provides

     The past several weeks, I have been reflecting on the past two years of my life. Almost two years ago, I was pregnant with Breckin, and we were told that she had a severe heart defect, and a brain malformation. The name of the Lord Jehovah-jireh has come to my mind lately. It means The Lord Will Provide. It was first used in Genesis 22 when the Lord provided a ram for Abraham so he wouldn't have to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice.
     When looking back at these past two years, I have seen overwhelming evidence of the Lord providing. Not only does Breckin have a severe heart defect and a brain malformation, but she also is blind. We didn't know this last part until after she was born. I remember sitting in her hospital room talking with my dear friend Darlene, and asking, "What am I going to do with a blind child?" She didn't really know the answer, but she just told me that God would give me what I needed. She was right.
     God provided emotional support (and still does) from so many friends and family. In those early days of Breckin's life after leaving the hospital, I had some tough days. My mom and mother-in-law were a phone call away and within a few minutes, one of them could usually be at the house to give me some relief. Friends were just a text away when I needed some prayers sent my way. My husband was and still is an amazing partner in this journey. He always seems to know what I need when I need it, and at times he can handle Breckin and give her what she needs in ways I can't.
     When we were able to get back to church when Breckin was a couple months old, we had to keep her with us during the service, and either sit in a special "cry" room or in the foyer so that we could feed her. At this time, she was still getting the majority of her feeds in her feeding tube, so we couldn't put her in the nursery. However, our church soon saw that we had a need and they worked to meet it. They hired a registered nurse to work in the nursery on Sunday mornings just to feed Breckin so that we could go to our Bible fellowship class and worship in the sanctuary. Again, the Lord provided through our amazing church family.
     The Lord has also provided through some amazing therapists who truly love Breckin and want to see her excel in life. Breckin receives four different therapies a month, and they all have helped her (and me) in so many ways. When you have a normal, typical, healthy child you don't think about having to teach them to play and eat. However, when you have a child with special needs, you have to work to achieve these things. Breckin's therapists have been so monumental in helping her reach so many milestones. They are constantly offering so much wisdom and hope to me that encourage me to work with Breckin everyday.
     Just recently, thanks to another mom of a child with special needs, I was put into contact with the TN deaf-blind registry. I went to an all-day workshop in March that took place in Nashville. At this workshop, I was given so much valuable information on children with sensory deprivation (in this case, Breckin's lack of vision). I was also able to meet with two of the women who are part of this association. Several weeks ago, these women, one of whom is a vision specialist, came to my house and spent over two hours with Breckin. They were so impressed with her and how smart she is, and were such an encouragement. They also gave me access to so many resources and information on how to raise Breckin as a child who is blind.
     I could go on and on if I had the time telling you how God has provided for us in Breckin's short life. But, I'll end with this verse: "And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Jesus Christ." (Philippians 4:19) I am a witness for this verse and here to tell you that He truly does provide for your needs!

Love,
B

 Playing with blocks

 Training the next generation of therapists

Matching texture squares

   

God is Good All The Time

     I don't think I have anything truly profound or inspiring to write about today, but I haven't posted in a while, and just felt like God was telling me to write. The fact that I don't have a lot to say is actually a pretty awesome thing. In the last couple months, I feel like God has just given me a little break from struggles. Of course things aren't perfect, but things have not been particularly challenging either.
     Breckin has just made so many leaps and bounds lately. She had a swallow study a few weeks ago, and did not aspirate on thin liquids! We got the okay to give her tastes of plain water (without thickening!) several times a day. We were able to wean her off one of her heart meds, and so far she is tolerating it. Her oxygen level, while still low, is stable for her. She has learned to pretty much feed herself with a spoon, she is saying "mama," although still not consistently, and she is learning hand motions to several new songs. Also, just last week, she learned to move herself with her feet on a ride-on toy. This is huge for her, because up until then, she had no way of moving herself independently. She doesn't crawl or walk, so this gives her a way to move herself around!
    Harper has also been such a great helper with Breckin. When I leave the room where they're playing, I don't have any worries about Breckin. Harper is so sweet and gentle with her, and if Breckin starts fussing or crying, Harper sings her favorite songs to her and rubs her head or hands which always calms her down. She is like an extra pair of hands for me at times too. If I am occupied with Breckin, and need something, Harper is usually pretty eager to get it for me. She also told my mom the other day, that since Breckin can't see, she will lead her around and show her where to go.
     Both of my girls just totally impress and amaze me everyday. God definitely knew what he was doing when he gave us Harper three years before he gave us Breckin. I was actually pregnant in between the two of them, and we lost the baby at 15 weeks. For the longest time, I just never understood why God allowed that to happen. Part of it I believe was just God's timing. He knew Breckin was going to have very special needs and the age gap between them I think needed to be exactly what it is. I also think that going through that hard time helped prepare us for the next hardship we would go through with having Breckin.
     I am trying to do my best to soak up this "easy" time in life right now, because I know that just around the corner, there will be more hard times. I think God gives us these little breaks to remind us that He is good. We get these "breathers" so that when the struggles come, we will still know that He is good. He gives us just what we need when we need it, whether we are going through hard times or easy times.
     I have spent so much time praising God through the storm, that I want to make sure that I praise Him through the sunshine too! I know that with Breckin, there will always be challenges, and struggles, and hard times. But, there will also be laughter, and joy, and beauty. And most of the time, all these things tend to overlap. Looking back over the past 16 months of Breckin's life, I can see that I have a good Father, and that He is good all the time!

Love,
B

What I Want to Say to the Stranger in the Grocery Store

     One of the most common things people say to me when out in public with Breckin is, "Is she asleep?" The reason everyone thinks she's asleep is because for the majority of the time, her eyes are closed. Even when she opens them wide as she tilts her head back to give me slobbery kisses, they are very small. Most of the time, I just tell people, yeah I think she's trying to go to sleep. Or, yeah it's her nap time. Every so often though, I just tell them no she's not asleep, she's blind.
     It never fails that when I tell someone this, they always respond with a sad, "I'm so sorry." I immediately smile and try to turn the conversation around. I tell the person that it's nothing to be sorry about, that she's a happy baby, and that she's such a blessing. Most of the time though, I feel like the person walks away not really believing that I meant any of that. They probably leave feeling sorry for me and Breckin, and may even tell the sad story of meeting a mom with a blind child at the grocery store that day.
    The truth is, my smile that I give that person, is genuine. The words that come out of my mouth when I talk about my child, are sincere. They are not just things I say to strangers to make them feel better, or to make me feel better about Breckin being blind. I am truly and unbelievably blessed to be called by God to be this girl's mother. She amazes me everyday.
     Now of course, being a mother to this girl does not come without it's challenges. There have been many days when I have asked God why He did call me to be her mother. Everyday has some sort of struggle, but everyday also has breathtaking beauty. When I watch my 14-month-old feel around her to find the toy that she wants and grab it, when she reaches for me to pick her up when she hears my voice, when she rolls a car back and forth with me, and when she sings to me with her sweet "la-la-la," I am blessed. When she claps for herself, raises her hand in the air to praise the Lord, and rolls her hands around to tell me she wants to hear "The Wheels on the Bus," I am amazed.
     Seeing her live life, allows me to understand more about the sovereignty, goodness, and power of God. When Breckin was first born, I didn't think she would be able to do any of the things that she is doing now. When we learned that she was born with multiple birth defects, I thought, what are her chances of living a normal life? (By the way, I hate even referring to any part of her as having a defect. To me, they are far from imperfections or flaws, but just part of what makes her who she is.) God is so big though. His power is not confined by something like birth defects.
     From now on, I plan on being even more outspoken about my daughter's blindness. I want others to be blessed by her as much as I am. I want others to see the awesomeness and majesty of God through her. And I want others to see that God did not give her this to be a punishment or curse, but so that He would be glorified!

Love,
Brooke