Friday, January 13, 2017

Life Lately

     I hate waiting so long before I write a blog post. I feel like we have gone through so much and I have gone through so many emotions since I last wrote. I also feel like I have learned a lot too. Maybe my new year's resolution should be to set aside time every week or at least every month specifically to write. We'll see how that goes ;)
     Since I last wrote, Breckin was supposed to have had her cleft palate repair. However, it was cancelled due to a cough and nasal congestion that she had been battling for weeks before the surgery. We did everything we could do to get rid of it, including putting her on two weeks of an antibiotic. The day the surgery was postponed (a day before her scheduled surgery), I was an emotional wreck. We had been planning and preparing for this surgery, and we had met our huge deductible for the year! So, for it to be postponed until the next year was a huge disappointment!
     The only thing that got me through the next few days was reminding myself of God's sovereignty. There was no way I was going to understand why any of this was happening-why she was born this way, why she had to have surgery, why she had a cold, why her surgery was postponed. I just kept reflecting on verses in the Bible that speak of God's ways and plans being higher than mine, of His purpose being greater than mine, and of his timing being more perfect than mine. One of the verses I meditated on during that time is Isaiah 55:8-"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." I was not particularly pleased with my situation, but I find my comfort in knowing that God knows what's best.
     Now in hindsight, it probably was a good thing Breckin didn't have her surgery as planned. Her "cold" made a turn for the worse the weekend before Christmas. That Friday morning, after a restless night of what seemed like non-stop coughing, we took her to her pediatrician. Her breathing was labored, she had fever, and her oxygen level had dropped into the 60s. Our pediatrician called an ambulance, and I rode with Breckin to Lebonheur hospital downtown. At the hospital, they ran several tests, did some bloodwork, and got a chest x-ray. Thankfully, RSV and flu were negative, bloodwork looked good, and chest x-ray only showed an upper respiratory infection. However, she was still pretty sick and was requiring 10 liters of oxygen just to maintain her saturations in the high 70s. By the grace of God, she quickly improved, and we got to go home only three days later. She was still sick, but we didn't have to go home on oxygen, and we got to enjoy our Christmas at home as a family!
     Breckin is much better now, and only coughs every so often. As far as surgery goes, her cleft palate repair has now been pushed to June of this year! Our ENT wants all the flu and cold germs to be gone before attempting this surgery. However, we will have a minor surgery on Valentine's Day. She is requiring tubes in her ears for the second time. So, we are still trying to keep Breckin pretty isolated and trying not to put her in the nursery or settings where she will be around a lot of other children. A simple cold that a typical child gets can land Breckin in the hospital!
     We also saw the audiologist when we saw ENT, and she gave me a tiny lecture on Breckin wearing her hearing aids. I honestly had just stopped putting them on her. I felt like she could hear fine, and it was just a hassle to put them in, take them out for naps, baths, bedtime, etc. Then keep them clean and replace the batteries every few days. However, the audiologist let me hear an example of how Breckin hears compared to how we hear. She played a recording of a conversation at a normal talking level. Then she played what Breckin hears, and it was like the volume on the conversation was turned way down. So yes she can hear, but it's at a much lower volume than normal. Since Breckin is really starting to imitate words and talk more, it's important for her to be able to hear us say these words clearly. So of course I had some mommy guilt after this, and immediately went home to get her hearing aids ready to wear.
     Breckin's biggest milestone lately is standing on her own! A couple weeks ago at church, Josh was out in the lobby with her (since we're trying to keep her away from the nursery), and she just started standing. He tried to help hold her hands, but she pushed him away. When I got out of the service, he showed me what she could do, and I burst into tears! I was so overwhelmed with joy and amazement! God truly is so good, and can do way more than I could ever imagine!
     Breckin is also saying a few words, mostly people's names. She has been saying "mama" and "daddy", but now she says "Ha-ha" for Harper and "ah-ah" for Avery, her little cousin. She says several other words that don't quite sound like the word it's supposed to be, but I know what she's saying. Most of her words just don't have the correct beginning sound, but this could be for many reasons. It could be her lack of sight, her cleft, or the fact that she can't hear the words clearly. So once she starts wearing her hearing aids regularly, and after her cleft repair, I can imagine she will be talking much more!
     It's amazing to think that right after Breckin was born, I had no idea if she would be able to talk or walk. Now, I feel like those things are not only possible, but are right around the corner! As challenging as Breckin can be at times, it is so worth all the struggles to see her consistently meet these milestones. The joy she brings to our lives far outweighs the pain!

Love,
B
   

 She had so much fun opening gifts on Christmas
 Playing with her sweet cousin
 She loves rocking babies
She is so loved by her big sister!

I tried like ten times to upload a video on here of her standing, but never could get it to work! So, if you follow me on facebook, you can find it on there :)