Monday, October 5, 2015

May God's Work Be Displayed

     We took Breckin to her third and likely final eye doctor a few weeks ago. After she was born, she got an MRI of her brain and this showed that her optic nerve was not formed on both sides. The eye doctor at LeBonheur told us there is no hope for vision, but encouraged us to get a second opinion. So, we did and saw Dr. Byrd. She pretty much said the same thing after examining Breckin's eyes and viewing the MRI. However, she said she would consult a retina specialist, and this was the third eye doctor we just saw.
     This doctor did an ultrasound of her eyes which is done just like they do over a pregnant belly. He put the clear goop over her eyelids and ran the wand over each eye. This exam took less than a minute which pretty much told me he knew what he needed to know right away and didn't need to look any further. He told us for the third time that Breckin is blind. We had heard this several times before and pretty much knew that she was, but there was something so final about hearing it from him.
     When we were told this in the hospital after Breckin was born, it was probably one of the worst days of my life. My brand new baby who I knew had a serious heart defect and a brain malformation would also be blind? I just could not imagine that this was true. I struggled for several days with this and was very depressed because of this news. However, God like He always does, changed my perspective on things.
     Through everything we have gone through with Breckin, I have constantly had to remind myself that God is sovereign. I struggled so much with wondering why God would create Breckin the way He did. A passage of scripture in John 9 was recently brought to my attention. It is a story of a man who was born blind. Jesus' disciples asked him why this was so. They thought the man or the parents of the man were perhaps being punished for some sin. This was Jesus' reply: "...but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." (John 9:3) My hope and my prayer is that God's work will be displayed in Breckin's life. 
     I personally see God's work in her life every single day, but I pray that others will be impacted by her life as well. Because of Breckin's lack of vision, there are definitely challenges she will face. Teaching her to eat, talk, crawl, and walk will be difficult because she can't imitate others. She doesn't have the main motivation that other babies do: seeing something and wanting it. I initially thought Breckin would never smile because she would never see anyone smile. Now, she smiles nearly all day and even laughs a lot. I thought, how is she going to know how to eat. She can't see the spoon with the food on it coming towards her mouth. But, she opens her mouth when she hears me say, "more." She instinctively puts her arms out when she is placed in a new setting to feel what's around her. When I give her her paci with her frog attached to it, she moves it around to position it so the paci goes right into her mouth.
     These are just a few of the things that Breckin does that amazes me. Because I have seen how God's work is being displayed in her life, I had a peace when the last eye doctor confirmed that she was blind.  I don't even want to think about the challenges that we will face as Breckin gets older, but today she is a happy little baby who can do almost anything any other baby can do. She just has to do things a little differently. My daily prayer for this sweet baby is Phillipians 4:13: that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

Love,
B
 Big grin!
Pushing up to crawl
Sitting up like a big girl 
     Holding on to the arms of her chair